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This Trial Rules


The Ada County Courthouse was abuzz last week with naughty news updates from the retrial of Boise's accused pimping kingpin (kingpimp?), Chris Teague.

A month ago, a jury couldn't decide whether Teague was in actuality a pimp, as the Ada County Prosecutor's Office alleges, or whether he was just an escort service owner whose employees happened to get it on with a high percentage of their customers.

In the new trial, gone are the blonde wigs and dark glasses that Teague's former employees donned last month while testifying against him. The women are testifying with their real mugs revealed, though that extra exposure didn't keep them from sharing stories that sounded like letters to Penthouse.

Revelation No. 1: Gretchen told the jury last month that Teague paid her to have sex with his clients. Now, she's insisting that her testimony was concocted by police officers who were using threats of a drug charge to leverage her into testifying against Teague. A month ago, Gretchen regaled audiences with sad stories of how she would bring sex toys on her dates with clients. This time around, she said those toys are as common in her purse as lipstick and gum.

"I have some with me today," she said.

You could have heard a dildo drop.

Revelation No. 2: Last month, Gretchen said she had sexual contact with about 30 percent of her escort service customers. This time around, she estimated her hump-rate at about 60 or 70 percent, indicating either that she lied durning the first trial, or that she's had a very busy June.

(Author's note: Da-yumn, Griz-etchen! Looks like I was wrong two weeks ago in this column to presume that the trial would be bad for business.)

Whether Gretchen's revelation about the artificial pee-pees in her handbag will succeed in making the jury, um, un-hung remains to be seen. Thankfully, Teague's trial is set to continue this week.