"Did you see who did this to you?"
"Yeah. He was an insurgent, I think. But it all happened so fast ... You scared to go out there?"
"Hell yes, but I'll be cool. So what happened?"
"We came out, just like we were supposed to after being prepped. The French fries were in formation all around me, crisp and ready, but they surrendered once the fighting started."
"He devoured them with glee. There wasn't one left after it was all overeven the little ones."
"That's just horrible! So have they told you anything? Will, uh ... will you ever swim again?"
"I don't know yet. I'm pretty torn up, but I'm lucky because something must have deterred the enemy. After a four-pronged attack, he threw his weapon down, frowning and shaking his head. It wasn't too long afterwards that I got rescued. We had to leave the salad behind though."
"I'll look for it when I'm out there. So are you from around here? Cascade Lake?"
"No, and that's a reservoir, remember? Besides, there are no fish like me in there. I'm a halibut. I was recruited fresh out of the ocean. Hard to tell through all this thick armor they stuck on me, though. But it must have been what saved me."
"Seems like it. That stuff's thick. Uh-oh, looks like I'm getting called up. Wish me luck!"
Ten minutes later ...
"Where are you hurt? How can I help?"
"I'm OK. I just had a small chunk taken out of me, and most of it was just icing, but the salad is gone, all gone. Didn't stand a chance covered in that oregano vinaigrette. I saw the terrorist finish off the last pieces. Evil doer was smiling the whole time."
"I was afraid that might happen. He seemed way more interested in the salad when I was out there as well. When he was attacking the salad, I got splattered with the oregano vinaigrette. I can still taste it. He ... he then dragged me across the plate, and shoved me into the salad's dressing. That's the last thing I remember before getting rescued."
"I'm sorry. I didn't know it had been that bad. At least we're both safe."
"I'm ashamed to admit it, but, well, a part of me really enjoyed being rubbed in that vinaigrette [sobbing]. I'm so confused!"
Fifteen minutes later ...
"Uh-oh, they're comingget back on your plate. They must be taking us to the hospital!"
"Anybody know where the boxes are? That gentleman by the window wants to take the carrot cake home."
Waj Nasser thinks the food should speak for itself.
The North Fork Cafe, 337 Deinhard Lane, McCall, (208) 634-5090. Tue.-Sat.: 11 a.m.-2 p.m., 5-10 p.m.