Oh no! The hills still have eyes! But now the hills are short a few good characters. Apparently, they all bled out and died in the first one.
In last year's remake of Wes Craven's original 1977 The Hills Have Eyes, a vacationing family gets spun around on a cross-country trek and ends up trapped in the desert canyons of New Mexico. Mutant hill dwellers, transformed by atomic radiation, stalk and terrorize the family. It was a gore fest with some terrifying and disturbing moments.
Now, two years later, a group of National Guard trainees are sent in with supplies for soldiers and military scientists working in the area. When they arrive, the place is abandoned and the trainees search the hills for survivors. Then they all die.
All of the fun—if you can call it that—from 2006's prequel is gone. Surprisingly, the script was written by "master of horror" Craven and his son, Jonathan, but maybe the name's losing its luster because the Craven-generated characters wander off like David Hasselhoff on a bender and spout one-liners that would embarrass even a first-year film student. The scares have been dumbed down as well, though there are plenty of gross moments such as the birth of a new mutant and someone trapped in the muck under an outhouse.
There's really no reason to watch this one, even if you enjoy mass quantities of gore. It's one of the worst major-studio horror releases in recent memory, and better titles (Disturbia, Vacancy) hit shelves next month.