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The 10 Best Ways to Insult the French President

Your mother is so small, her head smells of feet!

by and

Legislators in France have repealed a law barring insults against the president that’s been in existence since 1881, making it newly legal to offend the French president without any risk of a fine or punishment.

That's right — previously, being rude to the leader of France was a criminal offense.

Just a few years ago, former French President Sarkozy had a demonstrator punished for calling him a “jerk,” which the European Court of Human Rights has now ruled was a violation of the protester's rights to free speech.

Given the new ruling, current President Francois Hollande had better brace himself. He’s the most unpopular French president in the history of the Fifth Republic.

Hollande has already been commonly called “flanby,” in reference to the jiggly dessert of a similar name. But the insults can really only get worse now that they’re legal.

You can knock the French for a lot of things, but creativity when it comes to insults isn’t one of them.

As a public service, we've collected some of the best barbs to throw en francais.

"On t'a bercé trop près du mur?" — "As a child, was your cradle rocked too close to the wall?"

"Tu as le corps d'un chien et le QI d'un gamin de cinq ans!" - "You have the body of a dog and the IQ of a five-year-old!"

"Tu sens le boeuf et le fromage." — "You smell like beef and cheese."

"T'es une pomme de terre avec le visage d'un cochon d'inde!" — "You are a potato with the face of a guinea pig!"

“T'as une tête a faire sauter les plaques d'egouts!" — "You've got a face that would blow off a manhole cover!"

"Fous-toi un oignon!" — "Shove an onion in your butt."

"Ta mère est tellement petite, que sa tête pue des pieds!" — "Your mother is so small, her head smells of feet!"

"Espèce de mérinos mal peigné." — "You're a badly-groomed merino sheep!"

"Vive l'Algerie!" — "Long live Algeria!"

And, of course, this Monty Python classic: