Cope's back and rarin' to write. He claims he's more likable. I don't see it.
Last week, I told you I was done, that I wouldn't fill in for him anymore. I meant it when I said it, but that was before that pompous dick U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia pissed me off so much I couldn't spit straight. So I went to Cope and asked for one more. He says, "Wull geemanee, Bob ... I've been hangin' around nice people and I think I've figured out what makes' 'em that way. Now I'm ready to work with the new me in charge."
I say how damn delighted I am that he's a new him now, but what I have to write is important. He gets that squooshed-up look on his face like a little kid who's been told to go to bed, and he says, "Wull geemanee, Bob ... the guys down at BW are griping 'cause I haven't been writing my own columns lately. And they want me back 'cause everything you write about is ... like ... a month old."
I tell him that if he doesn't let me write one more column, next time he has a problem with the plumbing, he can crawl under the toilet himself, so he's says, "Wull geemanee, Bob ... if that's the way you're gonna be, write your darn ol' column. But don't blame me if ... "
I took off before he finished whatever stupid f***ing thought he was trying to complete.
He does have a point about my news cycle lag. Seems like everything I write about happened long enough ago that by the time it shows up in print, it's more history than news. And we all know how interested the American public is in history, don't we?
No offense intended, Citizen Dip, but the American public, as a rule, is an abysmally ignorant herd of unreflective shadows, floating from moment to moment, from sensation to sensation, with little or no thought as to how they got from there to here, aware only of whatever fragmentary and disconnected information they encounter through the happenstance of television news—or even worse: what they think they're learning off that Babel they call the "Internet"—which doesn't mean the inescapable continuum of time and eternal sequence of events aren't controlling their lives, whether they're aware of it or not.
Shit! I gotta say that better. This is too important to have you scratching your scalps, wondering what the hell I'm getting at.
Try this: Just because Americans neglect history doesn't mean history neglects Americans. You may not care what happened a month ago ... a year ago ... eight years ago ... 232 years ago ... but history is the stew in which we simmer, brother.
So if what I write seems like old news to you, tough nuts. Unlike those perpetually flapping jaws on television, I'm not going to pop off on something two minutes after it happens. I'd rather let events settle in some before I open my mouth with an opinion.
Except this time. It's only been a little over an hour since I watched that slob Scalia respond to 60 Minutes' Lesley Stahl when she asked about what he and his scummy cohorts did to decide the 2000 election. You should o' seen it ... his wattle actually quivered with surly indignation as he wriggled out of answering. "Gee, I don't want to get into ... I ... this is ... just get over it! It's so old by now!"
Can you believe it? ... that sack of black-robed crap is what the Right considers one of their bigger brains!
But here's what's scary. We have a whole political party—the one that's been running this country into the crapper since that bum Reagan was elected president—with the central, operating principle of "Get over it! That's old news!" No matter what they've been up to, from the Iran-Contra travesty to the unnecessary atrocity of this war in Iraq, they figure if they can just wait it out until it's no longer in the headlines—if they can hold on until the only people interested are those with a sense of justice—they can get away with it.
And here's what's really scary. It works. We have about half the adult American population that's perfectly happy to go along with that principle. It's the voting guide for the dopey Republican scrabble who keep electing these bastards: If you don't like something they did, just forget it ever happened and wish upon a falling star that whatever the f***ers are telling you now is true. Simple.
Yeah, simple. That's how we got from there to here, neighbor ... from scummy Scalia's "old news" 2000 Bush v. Gore decision to the even scummier present. A monumentally shitty ruling gave us the shittiest president ever, and how could it have come out different? Why would a presidency that came to power by willfully violating the fundamental principle of a democracy—the peoples' vote—honor any of the other democratic tenets? Habeas corpus? Fair trails? Open government? The trivializing of Congress? One outrage has led to the next like a string of dominoes tipping straight to hell, and every crime this administration has committed was born from the Supreme Court's original 2000 sin. How the party that continually preaches there are consequences to bad choices can ignore this is beyond me, but Republican leaders rely on Americans forgetting more than they remember. That may be a good way to run a slaughter house, but it's no goddamn way to run a country.
F*** it, I'm done. If you don't get it, you deserve what's coming to you. Just try to remember this, boys and girls ... you can't hide from history. If we don't get that straight, we've got some fer-shit bad history ahead of us.