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Seriously, No Party Here


The concentration of partying high school and college students is one thing. You know where the house is, and maybe, just maybe, so do the cops. If you don't see a passel of your peers roaming the yard, the living room, or anywhere else in view of the street, you have reason to believe that, yes, brother, you've found the party.

But when you're lost, loaded and lonely, it gets downright frustrating looking for that party. At least, that's what appears to have happened to Michael Duncan, 21. Way past the ETOH Curfew (a little-known rule that forbids partying when you're too drunk to make any rational sense), Duncan went looking for the next wing-ding.

He was wandering through a downtown neighborhood when he felt certain he'd found his casa. He began knocking on the back door of a resident who was most certainly not hosting any celebrations of any sort. When the resident told Duncan to scram, and tried to close the screen door on him, Duncan responded in a manner that most guests are advised against.

According to arrest reports, Duncan apparently began to force his way into the house, and threatened the resident.

No surprise about what happened next: The resident picked up a phone and called 911.

Not to be deterred from his quest, Duncan allegedly ripped the phone from the resident and left. Officers found Duncan walking down the street two houses away, toward the same home and arrested him. Whereupon his partying days ended, and he wound up with a rap sheet that includes "destruction to telecommunications equipment."