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R is for Rampage of the Retro Robbers

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A Nampa man got a rude awakening on Monday, August 8, when he discovered a pair of Keystone Kops-style burglars donning black ski masks and black clothes in his bedroom. According to a report in the Idaho Press-Tribune, the suspects bound, gagged and roughed up the poor sleepy apartment dweller while repeatedly demanding money in Spanish. After punching the man to their heart's content, the pair stole a few items from the apartment and left. Nampa police have posited that the intruders didn't expect anyone to be home at the time of the crime.

The victim's roommates discovered their bruised amigo at approximately 8 a.m. the following morning, at which time they took him to Mercy Medical Center. He was treated and released. Nampa police are investigating the case, but have admitted they have very little evidence on which to build a profile of their suspects.