Remember the Ludachristmas episode of 30 Rock, where Tracy Jordan couldn't party because of the alcohol monitoring device chained to his ankle? This holiday season, take a lesson from Tracy, and everyone's favorite firecrotch shitshow LiLo, and don't let this happen to you. Before you wobble over to your ride, smash the keys into the door and rev the engine, let the Portable Breathalyzer help you make sure you haven't had one 'nog too many.
The Portable Breathalyzer is a keychain-sized device that measures your blood alcohol content in a breezy 20 seconds. Just exhale into the device's vent and one of three LEDs will light up: green for "safe," or below .02 percent; yellow for "warning," or between .02 and .05 percent; and red for "danger," or above .05 percent.
And as if that weren't awesome enough, the device also comes with a countdown and count-up timer so you can keep track of your parking meter and an LED flashlight torch so you can find your drink in a dark bar--or the number for a cab in a phonebook.
Though the Portable Breathalyzer, billed as "a cool gadget for Friday night outs," comes with a hefty $125 price tag, it's much cheaper than getting pulled over for drunk driving.
Remember kids, DUIs blow.