Opinion » Minerva's Breakdown

Mrs. Robinson

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Dear Minerva,

When I was a 24-year-old single mom, I dated and later married a man 28 years my senior. I firmly believed age was "just a number." He knew me better than I knew myself. Sadly, he died shortly thereafter. Recently, I've been pursued by a 24-year-old (2 years older than my child). I've enjoyed hanging with him but it's too early to tell where this might go. He's been tenacious about wanting a RELATIONSHIP. He stated, unabashedly, that he smokes weed, is divorced, has depression, was engaged to a woman 30 years his senior, and spends most of his free time online, which gives me pause. My understanding of different needs at different ages has changed. I'm not sure if we met today that I'd date my husband. Does that make me disloyal? A hypocrite?

—Unsure I want to be "Mrs. Robinson"

Dear Unsure,

Hey, if you aren't into him, you aren't into him. What gives you "pause" is reality or many younger people in 2018. If you have objections, fine, but don't drag it out if he's a "pass" for you. He's been upfront and honest with you. Do the same for him. If you no longer think "age is just a number," that's ok. It makes you neither disloyal to your late husband nor a hypocrite. It just means you've changed. Incidentally, depression is the number one mental health problem for adults and Idaho is in the top 10 states for high rates of depression. We must end the stigma.