Opinion » Bill Cope

Mr. Cope's Cave: Mean?... Yeah; Unfair?... Nah


I don't think you were being very fair, Mr. Cope. Not at all.

What are you talking about?

Your blog Friday. You were being mean.

Junior, are you telling me that it took you until three days ago to figured out I can be mean?

Well, uh, no. I knew you can be mean a long time ago. But you were being mean and unfair.

How was I being unfair? Tell me.

You made it sound like our Idaho congressmen are all nothings. You called them "low-level flotsam" and ""30-watt luminaries." I think that's mean and I think it's unfair.

Tell me how it's unfair, Skippy. "Mean," I can see. I meant it to be mean. I get mean when I'm mad, and I was mad when I wrote that piece. But you tell me how you thought it was unfair.

OK, it was unfair because you made it sound like they are just irrelevant do-nothings. Isn't that what you meant by "flotsam?"... that they are irrelevant do-nothings? People are calling Raul Labrador a rising star in the Tea Party. I've lost track of how many times he's been on Meet the Press.

That may be. But being leaders in the Republican Caucus or the Tea Party is hardly a recommendation. Besides, being leaders among monkeys should oblige them to take responsibility for how the monkeys behave, shouldn't it?... including the shit those monkeys have been throwing at Obama for the last seven years.

But Mr. Cope, Mike Crapo and Mike Simpson have done good things about preserving some of Idaho public lands, haven't they? And Jim Risch?... well gosh, he's on some really important committees. The Select Committee on Intelligence, Committee on Foreign Relations, and Committee on Energy and Natural Resources... those are important committees. But you made them all sound like they're total empty-suit losers who think of nothing but getting reelected. That's just not fair. And if you compare them to some of the really nutsy people in Congress... you know, like those Texas nuts and that horrible Steve King and... well, like Ted Cruz and that dummy James Inhofe and... well, there are so many nutsy people in Congress, aren't there? But not a one of our congressmen is that nutsy... quite. What I'm saying is, we could do a lot worse, don't you think?

Scooter, what was that piece about?

You mean your blog piece?

Yes. What was Friday's blog piece about?

Well, when it wasn't about how our Idaho Congressmen don't have any character or integrity, and how they're all "low-level flotsam" and such, I suppose it was mainly about how they're responding to the developments with Iran, since it seems things are going pretty good with the whole negotiations deal. You were asking... sort of, I think... if they would ever get around to saying so, and maybe even admit that Obama's diplomatic tactics are working. Is that what you mean?

Almost. Maybe I could have said it better, I won't argue that. But what I wanted readers to remember is that when they weren't going along willingly with the schemes to marginalize and malign a legitimately elected American president, they were silent. While the most despicable, ugly and false things were being said about Obama... even about his family... they remained silent. No matter how absurd the accusation, not matter how big the lie, no matter how vile and poisonous the source, they remained silent. When what this country needed most was a few reasonable and moral Republican voices to say, "This has gone far enough," they remained silent. No, they might not be as bad as some of those stupid, demented goons the Republicans call congressmen. But I don't know which is worse... the stupid, demented goons or the men who say nothing while the goons are ripping the country apart. These four Idaho jerks may not be the pitbulls of the party, but they stood by while the pitbulls went on a destructive rampage, and made no attempt to stop it. They didn't lead, Junior... they followed.

So it wasn't really about Iran?... even though you spent most of the time talking about Iran?

Yes, it was about Iran. But it was about a lot more than Iran, too. The way they've sneered at Obama's negotiations with Iran is just the culmination of seven years of disgraceful bullshit. Their snotty response to the Iran deal embodies all the disrespect, the scorn, the condescension, the utter indecency with which Obama has been treated from the moment he took office. I didn't think my disgust for the whole rotten Republican Party could get any more intense, but when I read what that prick Risch had to say about the prisoner release... not giving Obama even a glimmer of credit for that or any of the other hopeful developments... I was furious. Craven, pompous, racist hypocrites who aren't fit to shine Obama's shoes, pandering like pimps to their slobbering base!... and that's only a fraction of what I think of them. So I started writing and didn't stop until I felt better. The only thing I regret about that article is that it was 1,700 words long.

Jeepers, no wonder it took so long to read.

Yeah, sorry about that. But it took that many words for me to feel better.

So I guess the respect they have in Congress or whatever they accomplish for Idaho doesn't matter to you?

Let me tell you something, pal... nothing they have done for Idaho, nothing they've accomplished in Congress, will wipe away the stain of their dishonor. They owe the president... hell, they owe this country... an apology that I'm confident will never come, them being the moral cowards they are.

Then I guess you aren't going to retract anything you said.

I stand by every word.

All 1,700 of them?

Um, well... I suppose I could trim a few hundred off and not lose any significant outrage.