Opinion » Minerva's Breakdown

Minerva's Breakdown

Advice for those on the Verge

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Dear Minerva,

My roommate always tries to hook up with me when she's drunk. It is getting weird and I feel really uncomfortable the next morning. She always tries to seduce me and even climbs in my bed sometimes in the middle of the night.

HELP!

Dear HELP!,

Buy a lock for your door, immediately! While there is no excuse for this behavior—that is, if you have drawn a clear boundary that she continues crossing—this question saddens me very much. I can't help but feel that she must be very lonely and, when extreme loneliness meets too much alcohol, it is easy to find oneself making propositions that, in a haze, seem like a good idea. Shame is not a helpful tool. Though things are weird now because of her advances, if you sit her down and draw some clear boundaries about personal space, her actions when she's drunk and how you are not interested in her romantically, she will try to make changes. If you have already done this and the situation has not improved, then maybe you shouldn't live together. If you are interested in her in that way, don't succumb to her advances while she is under the influence. She can't make those kinds of judgment calls while drunk and neither of you want to regret decisions made while intoxicated. This is tough, but you have to draw the line somewhere. Remember, "It ain't what you do. It's the way that you do it."