Opinion » Minerva's Breakdown

Minerva's Breakdown

Advice for those on the verge


Dear Minerva,

My husband has lost his sexual appetite. He always has an excuse to not do the sexy dance with me. I have started to masturbate more frequently, and he found out. He has started shaming me and bringing our religion into the mix. I want to have real sex with him, but he denies me. I've tried everything I can do to arouse him. What should I do?

—Girls Need Love Too

Dear Girls Need Love,

You have a right to a sex life. That is part of the deal when it comes to marriage. You are also absolutely allowed to masturbate. Sex should augment our lives, even if it is sex with ourselves. The next time he brings religion into it, I would say, "If God didn't want me to touch it, he wouldn't have made my arms long enough to reach it."

If the shoe were on the other foot you best believe he'd be kicking up a fuss. Perhaps there is an underlying medical condition causing his lack of desire. Have him see a doctor and your satisfaction could be just a pill away. If he refuses to try and fulfill his part of your marriage pact and his duties as a husband in the eyes of the Lord, then you have no choice but to take matters into your own hands.