As a 30-year-old man, is it ageist of me not to want to date a man who is almost 20 years my senior and who is still in the closet? Is it wrong that I just feel like the differences are too much? I don't want to be discriminatory but I am truly not feeling it.
—Young and I love to be young.
Honey lamb, if you aren't feeling it, you aren't feeling it. Never force something your instincts are telling you isn't right. While I am a firm believer that age is just a number (ie: a boring and tiresome subject) and I have things in common with people of all ages, some people cannot see themselves dating someone considerably older. That is perfectly fine. We all have preferences and no one can let political correctness rule their love life. We love who we love. If you aren't into someone that much older, let him down easy. Someday that may very well be you reaching out to someone younger who you find attractive and you would want them to be merciful in their rejection. As for him not being out of the closet, that is a much bigger red flag than his age. It is hard to go into a relationship with someone who hasn't come to terms with their sexuality. After all, confidence and authenticity are attractive at every age.