Opinion » Minerva's Breakdown

Minerva's Breakdown

Advice for those on the verge


Dear Minerva,

I have been married for many years. I was diagnosed with a medical condition that would make sex painful. After many surgeries and therapy the issue has been fixed. My husband and I weren't able to have sex for almost a year. He still received his blowjobs and handjobs, but sexual intercourse wasn't possible. I recently found out that he hired prostitutes and slept with many of them. Now I'm conflicted as to what to do. I'm hurt and not sure I can forgive him or move on. When I think about forgiving him, I keep thinking that he will do this again, even though my issue has been fixed.

Tricked by a John</p>

Dear Tricked,

My heart goes out to you. He shouldn't have made that decision without your input. He failed at "for better or worse." You have a right to feel betrayed. I know my responses normally reek of permissiveness. However, no one would fault you for kicking him to the curb for betraying you in your greatest hour of need. If you still love him and think you can live without feeling resentful, try and rediscover the man you trusted for so many years. If you know in your heart you cannot, then do not allow him to cheapen your life with his deceit and lack of self-control. It's up to you—fix what has become broken or start anew. Surely difficult either way.