Opinion » Minerva's Breakdown

Minerva's Breakdown

Advice for those on the verge

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Dear Minerva,

What is your political stance regarding group sex? Are you a communist, socialist, Democrat, Republican or free-market libertarian?

Curiously,

Bi-Party-Son

Dear Bi-Party-Son,

You cheeky monkey! Free-market libertarian* would sum up how I feel about group sex. If it works for you, go for it. Personally, I rarely indulge, preferring to save such carnal gluttony for times when the world could end—you know, like Y2K.** Those are the kinds of moments in which one would rather enjoy going out with a bang.

*Minerva Jayne does not endorse any political party over another. She would rather we all just be friends.

**Alleged participants in the Y2K scenario have had their names withheld to protect the satisfied.