Opinion » Minerva's Breakdown

Minerva's Breakdown

Advice for those on the verge


Dear Minerva,

I am in an open relationship. Why do people feel so free to judge what they don't understand?

—Vixen For Variety

Dear Vixen,

Honey, if I knew the answer to that I could solve a whole heap of the world's ills. Brass tacks time: It's your relationship. It doesn't matter why people judge. Thusly, it doesn't matter what they think. Opinions are like assholes: Everyone has one, but only a few look good enough to be in movies. Blame it on solipsism. Start the journey at social construct, travel from nature to nurture, through the tunnel of heteronormativity, across the rivers of religion, past Ward Cleaver's house, past Donna Reed's house, skip even the Munster's house, and stop at the temple so many picket: The Temple of Possibilities Unknown. Some people long for freedom. Some long to be daring. Some people long for a life without constraint, but fear and a desire for security keep them bound to the tidy little boxes society has created. Judgment usually comes from someone who is trapped, looking out at what they might be missing. You do you. If you and your partner are happy and it works for you, that's all that matters. You're responsible for pursuing your fulfillment. Sometimes, one person can't meet all those needs. Life is a banquet. Eat up, shug!