Arts & Culture » Culture

Minerva's Breakdown: Strung Along

How to navigate the online dating world and assess if someone is really worth your time

by

Dear Minerva:

I met this great guy online. We've been chatting regularly over the last few months but we still haven't met in person. I keep bringing up that I would like to meet him but he either ignores the message or changes the subject. He has said that he wants to take it slow. I do too. However, I think meeting in person is an important thing. I don't want to cancel him out because of this, but I am starting to feel like he's not serious. What should I do?

—Sincerely,

Strung Along

Dear Strung:

In-person chemistry is a very important thing. Many relationships look great on paper (or a screen). The problem with limiting relationships to that is that you miss important communication signals like body language, eye contact and physical feelings of attraction. Chatting all day and night can feel rewarding but you don't need a pen pal. In the digital age, far too many people present only who they want others to think that they are as people. While there's nothing wrong with putting your best face forward, attraction is far more complex. Having already invested months into a guy who is keeping you just out of reach, my advice would be to suggest a date. Include a proposed date, time, location and activity. If he doesn't clearly accept, decline or suggest an acceptable alternative, put some space between you. If he isn't that into you, then you can free up your time and headspace for someone more worthy. Good luck!

Tags