Opinion » Minerva's Breakdown

Minerva's Breakdown: Slow Simmer


Dear Minerva:

I've been spending a lot of time with a certain someone. We have had a lot of great adventures and we enjoy each other's company. We have also had conversations about where we are going and how we feel about each other. We come from very separate worlds but we have tons in common. The attraction is mutual and the desire to take it to the next level is there; however, he is not ready to be in a monogamous relationship. He has told me that he isn't ready to commit. I am ready but I also don't want to be on the back burner. I have no reason to doubt his intentions are true. I just don't understand the hesitation.



Dear Simmering:

Rushing into things seems exciting. The exhilaration of new love (and the hormones, and fantasies that come with it) make it tempting to jump in. We all come with baggage that weighs us down and makes our romantic steps a little slower and a little more cautious. It sounds like you are in the middle of creating a wonderful life and relationship together. While it might feel like you're on the back burner, it might just be the slow simmer that makes the most delicious of relationship stews. Wouldn't it be a shame to turn up the heat and burn the whole thing up? Take it slow to let the spicy flavors meld into a feast of passion and love that will see you through the long haul.