Opinion » Bill Cope

Licking the Hand

Labrador: You don't know what contempt is


There is very little in the human experience more repugnant to witness than the spectacle of one minority person abusing another to ingratiate himself with his masters. That is the behavior of men so ignoble, so cowardly, so low, that they should be denied any place in history other than the shame they have brought upon themselves.

With that said, I demand the immediate resignation of Rep. Raul Labrador from the U.S. House of Representatives. His inherent lack of decency, fairness and judgment make him unfit to represent Idaho or anywhere else, and it is time to send this loathsome lawyer back to the obscurity and inconsequence from which he arose.

Oh, but do I have to tell you what the lawyer did to earn such scorn? Ah, but of course I do. Had enough of you been paying proper attention to the caliber of people who usually achieve political office in Idaho, Labrador never would have been elected in the first place. But as one of those substandard individuals who benefited so unjustly from the tea bagger backwash in the 2010 election, he has been as eager as a Red Bull-lapping Pomeranian to get himself noticed, spouting the sort of radical bull-crappery that District 1 representatives have been known for at least as far back as Steve Symms. (Helen Chenoweth, C.L. "Butch" Otter, Bill Sali ... what a sack of low-cal cheese curds, eh?)

Labrador must have considered it his lucky day when he landed a spot on the House Committee for Oversight and Government Reform under Chairman Rep. Darrell Issa. Issa promised to investigate the Obama administration to death by a thousand cuts. And despite having uncovered only one subject upon which he could launch his snipe hunt, he has announced the Obama administration to be the most corrupt in America's history. I won't insult this Southern California slickster by saying he is too dumb to remember the Nixon and Reagan administrations--43 convictions out of the former, 138 out of the latter--but I have no qualms about insulting him by saying he is a despicable liar and one of the most dishonest people in our government.

Unfortunately, being a dishonest liar doesn't disqualify a man from conducting hearings in a Republican-controlled House these days, and as soon as Issa caught wind of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms gun-tracking program on the Arizona border, he went after President Barack Obama's attorney general, Eric Holder, with a vengeance. Not once did he call before his investigations George W. Bush's attorney general, Michael Mukasey, under whom the gun tracking started in 2006 before Obama was even elected. Not once did he call up the ATF official who has admitted he hadn't informed his bosses, including Holder, of the program's existence. And not once did Issa call up any of the ATF agents who were running the program.

No, Issa reserved his venom exclusively for Holder, the man who shut the ill-conceived program down after learning of a federal agent's murder, apparently committed with one of those rogue guns. Holder obligingly made nine separate appearances before Issa's inquisition, and handed over thousands of pages of documentation.

But of course, facts are of no interest to people with no interest in the facts. Issa demanded more and more, and eventually, Holder--with executive privilege support from his boss, Obama--dug in his heels and told Issa and his wretched crew that they had gotten all they were going to get. At that, Issa called for a vote to hold our attorney general in contempt of Congress, a reprimand always before reserved for people who offered no cooperation whatsoever. Even after last week's revelations (in Fortune magazine) that there is absolutely no truth to the accusations that had been made, either against Holder or the ATF agents, both of Idaho's Congressional stooges, Labrador and Mike Simpson, without a shred of integrity between them, voted for the contempt charge.

Labrador seems to know instinctively that the most-outrageous pimpery attracts the biggest crowd. Last October, he tried to out-bully his boss Issa by being the first to demand that Holder resign. Remember, this was long before any of Holder's tormentors, including Labrador, had any clue as to what they were dealing with. We might suppose Labrador may feel the need to work doubly hard at his right-wing fringery, being one of the few Hispanics in the political movement that has defined itself by the disdain it shows for brown faces.

And since the adolescently fascist Tea Party has as its central nature a full-out, mindless blitzkrieg on the Obama administration, it's to be expected that an eager ankle-licker like Labrador would try to out-posture even the likes of Issa in the harassment of the first black AG in our history.

What's more, I suspect Labrador is bouncing about at the knees of the white right, straining to be adopted as a token to counterbalance the Democrats' insurmountable lead in the Hispanic vote. And as a personal matter, how could Labrador--heretofore a small-dump lawyer with pretensions of rising above the limits his own lack of talent and integrity have placed on him--not help but feel resentful and inferior to a real man of the law like Holder?

But notwithstanding all of the ulterior motives Labrador may have for being such an insulting and demeaning dwarf trying to look like a big tough guy, what I see is a frantic lap dog pretending he's a macho pit bull going after a black man's throat, all in hopes that his trashy overseers approve. How many more of these buffoons can Idaho afford?

Next week: Just how scummy is the National Rifle Association, anyway?