Opinion » Lingo Yarns

Holidays for All


I'm not one to celebrate the Judeo-Christian assortment of holidays. We go through the motions at the Barnes household-dyeing a few eggs for Easter, gifts at Christmas, etc. We do celebrate the nationalistic holidays such as St. Patrick's Day with a beer and enjoy blowing stuff up for the Fourth of July. Yep, at the Barnes house, we give equal honor to holidays that are lesser in their commercialized nature. I'm talking about Groundhog Day, the solstices and equinoxes (equinoxi?), Daylight Savings and, most importantly, April Fool's Day.

In my youth, each year my parents would mess with our minds on April 1. They had such an impact that for years we'd believe the tales. Once I realized what was going on (by interpreting their shit-eating grins), I, too, participated. My most lasting accomplishment was convincing my brother that the rails in handicapped bathroom stalls were earthquake bars, used just in case one was caught "thinking" during a natural disaster. He was in high school before he realized he'd been had.