Opinion » Bill Cope

Hat-Backwards

Musing it up the MulletBoy way

by

Bill Cope

I was telling someone close to me how I've been suffering from another extended bout of political ennui (P.E.). The episodes are coming more often and lasting longer, leaving me weak and sweaty as I struggle to give a shit over what presidential candidates are saying, doing or saying what they will do.

I believe my P.E. pestilence is a direct result of the reality that, anymore, campaign seasons stretch from the day after the last presidential election, straight through to the next one. There is no time to recover. No time to retreat to a place where everything isn't accusation, exaggeration and warning. No time to remember not everything you hear is a lie. It's exhausting. Just thinking about it makes me want to sit down and put my head between my knees.

So I was telling someone close to me my troubles, and she said, "Well, why don't you write about something else for a while? There's more going on in the world than politics, you know."

Aha! I feel better already. But it may take me awhile to review my options as to what else there is to write about. So to clear some time for that task, I'm handing today's duties over to MulletBoy, that ebullient Internet presence from someplace deep in Canyon County. Since we last heard from him, he changed the name of his blog. Other than that, he seems to be as 2C-y as ever. OK then, MulletBoy. Tell us wha's up, dawg.

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Whooey Dawg! There a lot excitign going on in MulletBoy City, let me tell yuo! I'm been wearing my hat backward since way last two weeks ago. Tell you what, its sure been turning heads down at the Lube&Scoot!

Bfore I tells you about that, are you noticed how I changed my blog name? If your were trying to look me up at my old randemthinkinsdotwww , I not there anymore cause my new www is MUSING IT UP THE MULLETBOY WAY!, like with one of those exhellation points on the end. It all happened what I was looking around the bloggyspeer one day when I called in sick at Lube&Scoot cause I was hunged over from how Rip came over the night before with a Masonic jar of 70-poof moonshine he got from a gas station in Nevada when he got lost on his way to Caldwell and ended up in Nevada, and after about four hours of blog surping, I started thinking on how many blogs were called some kind a "musings." Theres a "Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man," and "Musings of a Skinny Girl What Likes Putting On Make-up,' and "Tammy's Musings," and "Satan's Contrails: Musings Of A Sky Watcher", and I cant' tell yuo how many more cause I forgot, but take my word for it, there a lot of them. I wasn't sure what a musings is so I looked up it in the dicktsionry that Honey Bug keeps with her Scrabbel game which I don't like to look at much because it's heavier than hell and I cant never remeber which comes first the Js or the Ks, and found out musings pretty much means the same thing as randem thinkings, only it sounds more smarter, don't it? So I changd it

So coupleweeks ago, Ripster comes over after work with a 12er of Keystones and as soon as he walks through the door I see theres' somethign different abot him. "Guess what" he says and I say "There's something difernent about you" and he says "Sure is! Dyou like it?" and I says "Like what?" and he say "Dont' you like what's different about me?" and then he's prancing back and forth like he was some kind of fancy fashion modle. I was trying to remember if he used to wear glasses cause if he did, he didnt' no more, or if he got a haircut, or if his fly was open but that's nothing differnt about Rip since his fly is open about ever time he comes out of the toilet, and I could not figgure out what was differnt about him. Finally, he says "What you blind! Cant' you see my hat is on backwards?"

I'll be goosed if it weren't! Rip always wears a Bardahl hat what I got from Lube&Scoot and gave him fro Christmas four years ago, and i'll be danmed if he didnt' have it on backwards! Just like he said! I says "Why you doing that, Rip?" and he say "Ever bodies doing it. Harnt' you noticed?" and I have to amdit that I'd not, only I don't get over to Caldwell as much as Rip does, even when he ends up in Nevada on the way there, so he always knows more about whats' cool than I do.

He says "Try it yourself, dawg. It keeps the rain off yuor neck," and I says "But it ain't raining and besides, wer'e inside" and he say "That ain't the point" and I say "Whats' the point?" which he says "Dcause it make you look nawrly!" and I'll be goosed if it didn't! My favorite hats a John Deere which I had since when that tractor run over Uncle Ferb which was a John Deere too, but it never looked nawrlyer than when I turned it backwards. Ol' Rip says "Thats' coolern hell, Cuz! You look like that Marky Wallberg in that one movie where he talks so fast I can't follow what he's sayign, Only differnce is, Marky Wallberg has all his teeth."

When Honey Bug got home, she says we looked like idyuts. She says "You dorks look like idyuts!" but I noticed how when we were doing the humpy-bumpy later on, she let me keep my hat on. Whooy-Dawg! That ain't happened since our wedding day!

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Thanks, MulletBoy. You've given us a lot to think about.