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GOD IS EVERYWHERE • THESE WORDS ARE SO YESTERDAY • MY SHOES DO NOT EXPLODE • ISN'T THAT HOW GANDHI GOT BUSTED? • ARMLESS BANDIT • TRY NOT TO BURN YOUR DICK ON THE TAILPIPE • TALLER, SMARTER, RIC

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GOD IS EVERYWHERE

It turns out that August was one of the busiest months in recent memory for sighting of the Virgin Mary and Jesus. Sort of ... According to an excellent compilation at Neatorama.com (complete with bizarre photographs!), last month, the Virgin Mary appeared in a piece of chocolate in California, on the stomach of a pet turtle in Chicago, in the wood paneling of a Californian restaurant and within the leftover grease on a George Foreman Grill drip pan in Missouri. Meanwhile, Jesus was busy popping up in an oyster shell (now for sale on eBay), on the MRI scan of a woman's spine in Pittsburgh, on the ultrasound scan of a baby over in the United Kingdom and on a shrimp, again in California. And finally, the word "God" also made an appearance hidden with the markings on the side of a four-foot-long alligator in Wisconsin. I've posted a direct link to all the photos at CuriousTimes.com.

THESE WORDS ARE SO YESTERDAY

According to an annual survey of television words that have made an impact on the English language (no, I don't know why they have such a survey, and yes, I realize this is the stupidest waste of energy imaginable), political satirist Stephen Colbert has scored two winners with his invented words truthiness (truth unencumbered by the facts) and Wikiality (reality as determined by majority vote). Even though Colbert is the only person on the planet who uses either of these words, the folks from the Global Language Monitor believe these words may become "embedded in the language for years to come." (Reuters)

MY SHOES DO NOT EXPLODE

After a man at JFK airport in New York was forced to take off a T-shirt with Arabic writing on it or miss his flight, an artist created a T-shirt which says "I am not a terrorist" in Arabic. "We have already given away too many freedoms in the name of war on terror. Freedom of speech cannot be one of them," writes Tim Murtaugh, adding, "I plan to wear it every time I go to the airport from now on." Get yours at ItsNotAllBad.com/iamnotaterrorist

ISN'T THAT HOW GANDHI GOT BUSTED?

A man who was living in a tent in the forest near Whistler last winter and trying to "become a perfect person" through fasting ended his spiritual quest by throwing a rock through the window of a condo, breaking in and ripping open all the Christmas presents looking for chocolates and raiding the fridge and cupboards before passing out. Jim Nelson, 49, was acquitted of the crime last week after the judge bought his defense that a 60 day fast induced "hunger, clouds of insanity [and] total confusion," leaving him unable to act rationally. According to the testimony, the condo's owner arrived at home to find Nelson "lying unconscious in the kitchen surrounded by wrapping paper with bags of vomit and feces located about him." (Vancouver Sun)

ARMLESS BANDIT

In an effort to win back customers, a Japanese bank has added the chance to win some cash whenever you withdraw money from an ATM. After each transaction, a roulette wheel pops up on screen and gives you one chance to spin yourself an extra 1,000 yen. (Reuters)

TRY NOT TO BURN YOUR DICK ON THE TAILPIPE

How bored do you have to be to go watch people humping Hummers? You won't know until you end up at IHumpedYourHummer.com. Try not to get too turned on, freak.

TALLER, SMARTER, RICHER

In the past, I've reported on research which suggested that tall people earn more money than shorter folks, with a height advantage of four inches equalling an average of 10 percent higher wages. Now we have research that might explain this phenomena. According to a study done at Princeton University, tall people are actually smarter than the rest of us. After analyzing data from studies which followed British and American children born in the years 1958 and 1970, the researchers concluded that "as early as age 3--before schooling has had a chance to play a role--and throughout childhood, taller children perform significantly better on cognitive tests." (Reuters)

I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK

If you could use up all the unredeemed frequent flyer miles of everyone in the world, you could take 42,500 round-trip flights to the sun.

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