Here's a newsflash: Poop is funny. No, really, it is. Its appeal crosses age, gender and socioeconomic demographics, and if you had such a haunting potty training experience that you don't think poop is funny ... we pity you.
However, now that that poop-love session is out of the way, we have to admit: Poop can also be a harsh mistress. While poop-puns and poop-noises are a sure recipe for comedy gold, "number two" has made little headway over the years in genres like, for instance ... prop comedy. In other words--and here's what Daniel Hudson and Daren White of Ada County could have benefited from hearing--poop is funny ... but not that funny.
Hudson, 29, and White, 22, were convicted last week of yukking it up--that is, "yucking"--at the expense of some Gem County gas station customers in a couple of recent incidents. According to an account in the Idaho Press-Tribune, the first round of unpleasantness occurred on January 27, when White rolled up some of his boom-boom in a dollar bill and went "fishing" for folks at an Emmett Chevron, while he and Hudson sat in a nearby car and laughed. The hilarity of White's joke was apparently lost on Gem County Judge Gordon Petrie (a name befitting this most cultured of pranks), especially after it was revealed that White has Hepatitis C.
But it didn't end there. (Nor did it begin there, since the pair admitted that they have done similar pranks in Ada County as well. Now go wash your hands.) After tiring of the Chevron audiences, White and Hudson crossed the street to a Shell station and smeared feces (Eww! What a gross word!) on several door handles. Gem County Prosecutor Tim Fleming told the Press-Tribune that at least two people fell victim to each trick.
At the trial, both men pleaded for mercy, citing that White has a fiancee and two children, and Hudson has a family and is (tee hee) a Sunday school teacher--a revelation that could give a whole new twist to the story. Behold Malachi 2:2-3: "If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the Lord of hosts ... Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces." And there you have it.
Petrie sentenced the men to serve 90 days in jail, undergo psychological evaluations and pay $1,000 fines.