Screen » Film Reviews

Dead and Deader

by

Martha Stewart called me last week with a simple recipe she swore was just great for a night of entertaining: "Take a handful of friends, a cup of good humor, lots and lots of alcohol (for color and flavor) and add a ridiculous film about zombies; then simmer." It sounded amazing, so I tried her advice. But silly me, I forgot the friends, the humor and the alcohol. And like any good recipe, leave out ingredients, and you're left with a lump of crap instead of good eats.

Or perhaps I just watched a rotten film.

Dean Cain's star power has waned since his Superman show was cancelled a decade ago, but he still finds starring roles, like his latest, a made-for-the-Sci-Fi-Channel flick about a zombie killer who is himself a zombie. A producer said the film does for zombies what Blade did for vampires. Then again, he also said the movie was "snarky," which I thought meant funny--but apparently means stupid.

It probably would've done better as a 45-minute episode of The Outer Limits rather than as a feature film, except it may have even given that show a bad name. The script attempts humor with lines like, "Hey, don't make me eat you," but even Superman couldn't deliver it with punch.

I'm going to give this movie a low score, but perhaps if you can follow Martha's directions more precisely, then you will find it a winner--though you will be drunk. :