TAKE TWO LEECHES AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING
After centuries of neglect, flesh-eating maggots and blood-sucking leeches have made a comeback in modern medicine, and are now being used so frequently by high-tech surgeons that the Food and Drug Administration has compiled a federal board of medical advisors to discuss how to regulate them. It turns out that microsurgeons resurrected the use of maggots and leeches in the late 1970s due to their very unique skills which medical technology cannot match. Leeches, for example, are excellent at draining excess blood from surgically reattached or transplanted appendages, and maggots are unparalleled in their ability to clean festering, gangrenous wounds, which is indispensible for patients (such as diabetics) whose wounds fail to heal. The two-day conference will submit guidelines to the FDA, which will regulate how to safely grow, transport and sell leeches and maggots to surgeons throughout the U.S. (New York Times)
A ROMANTIC NIGHT OF WINE, CANDLES AND BUTT-SNIFFING
Despite the fact that dogs and cats enjoy the luxury of screwing wherever the hell they want, a pet motel has been opened in San Paulo, Brazil. "Pets have needs and they also want some excitement," said the motel's operator, who says he opened the establishment for pet owners who are concerned for their animal's needs.The motel rooms are decorated in the same way as love hotels for humans, with satin sheets, ceiling mirrors and lots of cushions. (Ananova)
A big fat Russian cat (which is probably the fattest cat in the world) will miss her chance to enter the Guinness Book of World Records due to the closure of that category in the record books. Katy, a 5-year-old Siamese which weighs 50 pounds (more than the average 6-year-old boy) is widely recognized as the fattest living cat in the world. However, Guinness refused to recognize the achievement as they are no longer accepting applicants in that category. A spokesperson from Guinness explained that they do not want to encourage people to overfeed their pets and create big fat beasts just for the sake of the record book. According to her owners, Katy doesn't actually eat that much, but ballooned to her current size after they fed her hormones to stop her from mating. Now, they say, Katy has absolutely no interest in sex and only cares about food. (BBC)
WHO'S YOUR DADDY?
Science has finally caught up with the Jerry Springer show with new research which suggests that up to one in 25 fathers are actually raising another man's child. The study, published in the latest issue of the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, suggests that the growing reliance on paternity tests will reveal huge numbers of what is technically called paternal discrepancy.The researchers based their one in 25 figure on statistics which suggest that around a third of pregnancies are unplanned and one in five women in long-term relationships have affairs. (world-science.net)
COME SEE THE UGLIEST ANIMALS ON EARTH
The London Zoo has opened up a new exhibit called Homo sapiens--an enclosure containing eight humans dressed only in fig leaves. According to the press release, the four-day Human Zoo exhibit is meant to highlight the spread of man as a plague species and to communicate the importance of man's place in the planet's ecosystem.How this is supposed to be accomplished is anyone's guess. A more accurate press release might state that the exhibit was opened to create media attention and bring more paying customers to the zoo. (Ananova)
IT'LL BITE YOUR FAT ASS IF YOU OPEN THE FRIDGE
Robotics engineers at MIT are creating a robot guard dog to help you stay on your diet. The robot dog will be wirelessly connected to your scale, pedometer and an electronic diary of your eating habits and exercise routine. The dog will then crunch the numbers and let you know when it's time to say no to that next slice of cheesecake or get back on that stairmaster. (New Scientist)
"I READ IT ON THE INTERNET SO IT MUST BE TRUE" FACT OF THE WEEK
You would need to fart continuously for six years and 9 months in order to generate an amount of energy equal to that in an atomic bomb.