BLINDED BY THE PORN
Strange news out of Britain has concluded that pornographic and violent images make you go blind. Not literally blind, but for a few microseconds after viewing an emotionally charged image, your brain will be unable to process additional images. The researchers have called this "emotion-induced blindness," but have no idea why this might happen. "We think there is essentially a bottleneck for information processing and if a certain type of stimulus captures attention, it can jam up the bottleneck so subsequent information can't get through," guessed psychologist Dr. David Zald. (New Scientist)
QUIT STEALING OUR FUCKING SIGNS
After voting against changing the name of their town last year, the residents of Fucking, Austria, have finally figured out a way to stop tourists from stealing the "Welcome to Fucking" signs which decorate the roads leading into their town. They have finally erected theft-proof signs bolted and welded onto steel posts embedded in concrete. "It would take all night to steal one," claimed Fucking's mayor. The town was named over 100 years ago by a settler named Mr. Fuck, who added the suffix "ing" (village) to his surname for the town's name. (Wikipedia)
HOW MANY SMOKES CAN I GET FOR AN UDDER OF MILK?
A cow in Colombia is waiting to be bailed out of jail by its owner after causing a car accident in the city of Giron. The police were unable to find the owner of the cow so they decided to "arrest" the cow until the case was resolved. "If it was a person who caused the accident, he or she would be behind bars," explained a police spokesperson, "So why not a cow?" (Ananova)
IF YOU THINK TELEVISION STINKS NOW ...
The Japanese have set a target of 2020 to make virtual television a reality as part of a broad national project which will bring together top researchers from various government agencies, technology companies and universities. Their goal is to create a global network to support virtual reality television-a TV which would allow people to view high-definition images in three dimensions from any angle, and even allow the viewer to touch and smell the objects being projected. The plans didn't mention the most lucrative and widespread use of this technology (really greasy porn), but instead focused on the possibility for home shoppers to "feel" products being advertised, or for doctors to view and perform simulated surgery on 3D images. (Reuters)
I'D LIKE TO "BORROW" A PROSTITUTE
The small town of Almelo, Holland, has created a media stir in that nation after its public library began offering to "lend out" homosexuals, drug addicts, asylum seekers, Gypsies and the physically handicapped. The scheme is designed to break down barriers between Almelo's affluent majority and members of ethnic minorities and other marginalized members of Dutch society. The volunteers, which so far include gay men, lesbian women, a couple of Islam volunteers, a physically handicapped woman and a woman living in poverty, can be "borrowed" for up to an hour at the library's cafe for a cup of coffee, during which time the borrowers can ask them any questions they wish about their lives. (Daily Telegraph)
WILL THE ALARM GO OFF IF SOMEONE TRIES TO COP A FEEL?
A British company has created a bikini with a built-in timer which will remind you to flip over every 15 minutes and wake you up in case you fall asleep on the beach. According to the company which developed this technological leap, the Tan-Timer bikini is aimed at the 59 percent of beachgoers who claim they have fallen asleep while suntanning. (The Guardian UK)
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW NOBODY LISTENS?
Researchers at MIT have come up with an invention which will let you know if the person on the other end of a cellphone conversation gives a rat's ass about what you're talking about or not. The Jerk-O-Meter is a piece of software which will analyze the speech patterns and voice tones of the person you're talking to and show you a rating on a scale from 0 to 100 as to how engaged the person on the other end of the phone is. The program uses mathematical algorithms to measure levels of stress and empathy in a peron's voice in order to make its rating. (Associated Press)