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Curious Times June 9, 2004

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HOW TO TURN YOURSELF INTO A MINDLESS ZOMBIE

So if you're ever so desperate for attention that you decide you need to get your name in the record books, I've found by far the easiest one to break. According to Sky News in the United Kingdom, the record for watching nonstop television is a mere 47 hours. Right now, Tom Gibson, a 24-year-old IT consultant is going for a new world's record by watching 50 hours of television, but even if he succeeds, that amount is peanuts. I think I've watched more TV than that in one sitting without even trying. In order to break the record, Gibson needs to watch 50 hours straight with only one 15-minute break every eight hours. "My parents always told me that watching TV would get me nowhere, now it's my chance to prove them wrong," said Gibson, adding, "I've been putting hours of practice in to prepare myself."

DYING WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE

A German study has found that having an affair can by deadly for men. Not because their wives might have them killed if they found out, but because men are about twice as likely to die during sex with their mistresses than with their wives. Research done at the Center for Forensic Medicine in Frankfurt studied over 30,000 deaths covering the last 30 years, and found 60 men had died during sex, almost all by heart attack. Of those, only one in four died in the arms of their wife, over half of them died during an unfaithful fling, and the rest died during masturbation. One possible explanation may be that the added stress of having sex during an affair may have caused the heart attacks, but the researchers' only conclusion was that the men were trying harder to impress their extra-marital lovers, and that extra effort caused enough strain on the heart to kill them. (Agence France-Presse)

THE WEIRD AND WACKY LIVES OF THE RICH AND

POWERFUL

Last week I briefly mentioned the Skull & Bones Society, and how rumors have it that George Bush and John Kerry probably masturbated in a coffin as an initiation rite into that secretive organization. Apparently, that's just the half of it. According to a very radical writer named Sherman H. Skolnick (who has many fascinating but freaky articles posted at www.skolnicksreport.com) the Skull & Bones society is an "elite cabal made up of primarily pedophiles and homosexuals, all pledged to extreme secrecy in return for the doors of finance, industry, central government, and media to be thrown open to them." As for the initiation rite mentioned above, Skolnick claims that during the rite of passage, two initiates "while naked, have to homo-sex cavort in a mud-filled double size coffin." Now there's an image I don't really want in my head.

AND NOW, EVEN DRINKING A GLASS OF WATER IS A SIN

As if trying to remain a kosher Jew in New York City isn't difficult enough, a recent test from the Department of Environmental Protection found that the city's drinking water contains millions of tiny organisms called copepods. The problem for Orthodox Jews is that their teachings prohibit the eating of any crustaceans, even if they are less than a millimeter long. The concern over New York's drinking water began a few weeks ago after an exporter of kosher vegetables claimed that their products had become infested with the insects after being washed in New York tap water. For now, the only solution seems to be buying a kosher water filter. (AP)

ANOTHER ONE-TERM BUSH

Excellent news on the Michael Moore vs. George W. Bush front of this "war on terror." Moore has finally found distributors for his new film Fahrenheit 9/11 and the North American release date is set for June 25. Check out the trailer of this flick at www.fahrenheit911.com, which opens with the line "If you thought governments were secretive ... if you thought corporations were greedy ... you ain't seen nothing yet." If this trailer is any indication, this film should go a long way towards exposing the way in which the ruling elite create fear, war and terror in order to reap huge financial windfalls. You can also check out reviews of the film at the Web site, including one from the Washington Post which claims that Fahrenheit 9/11 "slices and dices President Bush's presidency into a thousand satirical pieces."

Get waaaay more bizarre news at www.curioustimes.com.