I WANTED DRUGS FOR MY BIRTHDAY, NOT MY FUNERAL
The world's oldest stash of marijuana has been discovered in a 2,700-year-old tomb in a remote part of northwestern China. The 789 grams of dried weed was buried alongside a light-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian man who was probably a shaman for the local Gushi culture. The scientists who discovered the stash also claimed that the marijuana was definitely cultivated for psychoactive purposes and had a high content of THC, although a precise percentage could not be calculated. "To our knowledge, these investigations provide the oldest documentation of cannabis as a pharmacologically active agent," said Dr. Ethan B. Russo, an American neurologist who was part of the team. "It certainly does indicate that cannabis has been used by man for a variety of purposes for thousands of years." (thestar.com)
YOU NEED A ROBOT THAT CAN HOLD DOWN A JOB
A Chinese farmer with only basic education has been quietly building an army of robot servants over the past 30 years. Wu Yulu has built 26 robots out of scrap materials since the age of 11, some of which can climb walls, serve drinks, light cigarettes, play musical instruments and write calligraphy. But his favorite is the rickshaw-pulling robot that pulls him around town for his daily sightseeing. Unfortunately, he is now being forced to sell some of his toys since his obsession with building robots has plunged his family into debt. (Ananova)
LIE, CHEAT, STEAL, GRADUATE
Now that you're old enough to start bitching about the next generation, you'll love these statistics from the "2008 Report Card on the Ethics of American Youth." The survey of 30,000 high school students found that 35 percent of boys and 26 percent of girls have stolen from a store in the past year; 49 percent of boys and 36 percent of girls have told a lie in order to save money while more than 80 percent of all kids say they have lied to their parents about something significant; and 64 percent of students admitted to cheating on a test during the past year while 36 percent had used the Internet to plagiarize an assignment. Of course, the accuracy of these numbers is less than highly reliable as the survey also found that 26 percent of the students questioned said they lied on at least one of the questions asked. And finally, for just a touch of irony, the research also discovered that a whopping 93 percent of students said they have high personal ethics and character while 77 percent agreed with the statement "when it comes to doing what is right, I am better than most people I know." (charactercounts.org)
NEXT BOOK: HOW TO TALK TO OPRAH
A 9-year-old Colorado boy who had a hit at his school's book fair with a 46-page pamphlet called How to Talk to Girls has now had his book published nationwide by Harper Collins. While Alec Greven admits that dating is for "old people" (which he defines as 15- to 16-year-olds), he has plenty of advice for those who are ready to jump into the dating pool, starting with "comb your hair and don't wear sweats." Greven also warns boys to stop showing off, don't look desperate by giving out too many compliments and be wary of pretty girls. "Pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil," he explains. (NY Post)
O CUM ALL YE FAITHFUL
If one of your Christmas wishes is to help bring peace on Earth, but you want to do the least amount of work possible to bring it about, you'll probably want to join the Second Annual Solstice Synchronized Global Orgasm for World Peace, which takes place on Dec. 22. This experiment will be an attempt to join the world's citizens in a simultaneous orgasm combined with thoughts of peace and love for all humankind. According to the Web site: "The mission of the Global Orgasm is to effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy." Their hope is that this "concentrated positive energy" will affect the Earth's energy field enough to "reduce the current dangerous levels of aggression and violence throughout the world." Join the fun at globalorgasm.org.
I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
The scientific name for "brain freeze" is sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia.
Get way more bizarro news at curioustimes.com.