BORN WITH A SILVER MEDAL IN YOUR MOUTH
How to you get to the Olympic games? Dedication, hard work and lots of training. How do you win a medal? Be born in the right month. Or so says British statistician Kenneth Mitchell, who crunched the numbers and discovered a strong correlation between gold medal winners and zodiac signs. Mitchell had dubbed the phenomenon "The Pisces Effect" after discovering that athletes born under that sign win 30 percent more medals than any other sign in water-based events like swimming and water polo (for the record, Michael Phelps was born under the sign of Cancer). He also found that Scorpios are the best fencers and Taurus is the best sign for pole vaulters. Overall, athletes born under the signs of Capricorn, Aquarius and Aries win the most gold medals. "I am talking of odds against chance of hundreds of thousands to one," Mitchell said. "And just for the record, I know a thing or two about statistics. I have a Ph.D. from Glasgow University on statistical ecology and a further 33 years working on statistical data analysis." (Reuters)
I DO, I DO, I DO, BUT YOU SHOULDN'T
Here's some advice you hopefully don't need: Nigerian Mohammed Bello Abubakar, husband to 86 women and father to at least 170 children, has warned other men not to make the same mistake. "A man with 10 wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by Allah. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them," he told the BBC.
I DO, I DO, I DO WANT TO LIVE LONGER
On the other hand, a new study was released last week that concluded men from polygamous cultures outlive men who are only allowed to have one wife at a time. The research compared data from 140 countries that practice polygamy and 49 mostly monogamous nations. After accounting for socioeconomic differences, they found that men who have more than one wife life an average of 12 percent longer than their monogamous counterparts. (New Scientist)
SEX AND MONOGAMY DON'T MIX
The final word on this subject goes to the German psychologist who has confirmed that passionate sex and a long-term relationship are "an impossible combination." Dr. Michael Mary, a sex therapist in Berlin and author of the book Five Lies Concerning Love, warned that trying to create a fulfilling sex life in a long-term relationship is a futile exercise. "It is impossible to get everything together. To have trust and harmony and at the same time the level of passion and desire one experiences on the first day simply doesn't exist," he explained, adding that the easiest way for married people to add some excitement to their boring sex lives is to cheat on their partners. (Ananova)
NOTHING BEATS ROCK
The World Rock Paper Scissors Society (yes, there is such a thing, check it out at worldrps.com) is accepting competitors for this year's International Rock Paper Scissors Championships to be held in Toronto on Oct. 25. You can watch the insanity for a mere $12 or pay the $40 competitor's entry fee in order to take a crack at the $10,000 first prize. And if you're not quite in game shape, you can hit their Web site and read the entirely unhelpful RPS Strategy Guide. Good luck.
THE CURIOUS DEAD
The world's oldest man and the world's tallest woman both died last week. Habib Miyan of Jaipur, India, who claimed to be 138 years old but was officially recognized to be 129, died in his home town of Jaipur. Meanwhile, in Shelbyville, Ind., 7-foot, 7-inch tall Sandy Allen died at the age of 53.
DON'T MISS "POST SOMETHING ON THE WEB AND SEE IF ANYbody BELIEVES IT" DAY
Now that summer is almost over I guess we'll need some new reasons to be drunk all the time. Try these: National Beheading Day (Sept. 2), Be Late for Something Day (Sept. 5), Defy Superstition Day (Sept. 13) or Ask a Stupid Question Day (Sept. 28).
I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
The person most likely to get shot during a bank robbery is the robber.
Get way more bizarro news at CuriousTimes.com.