Put on your white sport coat, pump up your sneakers and alert Crocket and Tubbs, because blow is back in the Treasure Valley. Or at least it was, until the inimitable Boise Police Bandit Task Force, along with a few DEA and ATF agents, seized two-and-a-half pounds of booger-sugar from a couple of alleged local pushers with classic Miami Vice villain-sounding names: "Quincy" and "Rickie."
That's Quincy J. Mayes, 27, and Rickie D. Oliver, 47, both of Boise, who were both arrested after officers found approximately $106,000 worth of nose candy, a half-pound of weed and $24,000 cash in Mayes' home. Big-time rock busts are such a rarity in the Treasure Valley, and Miami Vice reruns are on so often, that this bust has a lot to live up to. We'd hoped to hear that there was a speedboat chase involved. No dice. We'd also hoped to hear that one of the agents used a really cool catchphrase when arresting Quincy and Ricky. We still haven't heard anything. So we're left to invent our own cut-to-commercial scene, based purely on bad TV and drug stereotypes that ceased being relevant back when our staff was still in elementary school.
Arrestee: "I was framed! The real bad guys, they're, like getting away right now, daddio! Those California cornflakes ain't mine!"
"Can the cereal talk, scumbag. Where you're going, they eat guys like you for breakfast. You have the right to remain silent ... (cue electric guitar)."
Oh, yeah, and for those of you under 25 years old, we're talking about cocaine. It's like meth, only it costs a lot more and doesn't last as long. Your college professors used to take it on finals week when they were students, just like you pop NoDoz today.