by Josh Gross
Footage of oil-soaked pelicans from the Gulf of Mexico was on the TV at the bar last night. Watching people scrub and prune them, shaving and clipping oil from their down like gum from a child's hair was truly appalling. It only got sadder when they panned back and showed dozens more waiting in a pen behind the one people were helping.
This may officially be the point at which we need to laugh, just so we don't cry. To that end, I offer you this.