It's not that we wish we were there last Wednesday when Boise Police Officers put down a mountain lion that was hiding in a bush behind a North End home--far from it. But after seeing on the subsequent department press release that almost two hours passed between when police arrived and when the deed was done, we couldn't help but ask, "Just what were they doing that whole time? Trying to talk things out with the cougar?" With that, all manner of Old Yeller-meets-Reservoir Dogs vignettes came to mind as answers. Here's but one:
"... Well, shoot... It's not that I want to kill you, Coogy. It's just that, well, you're a big ol' cat and I'm a police officer, and dammitanyway ... Why'd you have to come to this neighborhood where there are kids all over the place? ... Aw, quit your roarin', you know I've gotta follow procedure or they'll stuff me right along with yah and mount us both on the wall in the precinct ... What's that you say? Run away together--to the mountains? Weellll ... Naw, you know that'd never work. Don't make this any harder than it has to be ... Why would you say that? This has NOTHING to do with her! ... Seriously, STOP IT, Coogy! HALT! I said FREEZE, PUNK! [BLAM BLAM BLAM]."
Simply tragic, that.