Best Landscaping

Simplot Hill Dick Drawing

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Oh, it was the landscape art to end all landscape art: a rendering, in dead grass, of a giant herbivorous schlong, appearing in the wee hours one summer morning, right there on Simplot Hill. The potato billionaire's former mansion (now the unoccupied governor's mansion) had heretofore been nothing more than a giant lawn-mowing arena, and the best ice-blocking territory around. But now it was ... art! When BW first broke the story, we spoke with chuckling police officers, chortling garden store experts and others who could barely contain their high-school-level merriment over the big bluegrass boner.

News of the alteration quickly got out, with TV anchors expressing shock, shock at this "crude" act. Some local radio wags pondered if the drawing was really of a golf club. You know, like, a ... wood? Despite the best efforts of the local landscapers, the turfy etching persisted, causing double-takes from drivers on Bogus Basin Road, and no doubt infuriating greenskeepers. The drawing persisted for a month. What do you put on such a thing to repair it? Vigoro?

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