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Bambsquabbled In Boise

Minerva discusses how to meet a partner in Boise who isn't a total jerk

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Dear Minerva:

I am single and in my mid-30s. I have no kids. I have so much life ahead of me. How do I find a non-a****** in Boise who is serious about dating and also a good person?

—Sincerely,

Bambsquabbled in Boise

Dear Bambsquabbled:

Searching for someone who isn't the embodiment of a walking, talking anus is a "tail" as old as time. Everyone's definition of what does or doesn't make a person a "Brown Eyed Willy"* varies greatly. Some people find outrageous, stubborn men to be the pinnacle of masculine attractiveness. Some find a dirtbox to be most repugnant. Truthfully, we all have the capacity to be a huge pain in the tush. The key is to get out there and get to know people. People are complex. No one is 100% anything when comes to personality. You might not be able to completely avoid moments when a lover acts out (we all lose it from time to time) but maybe you can find someone who has unruly moments that don't conflict with your love for them. People so often don't give others the grace to be human, especially when dating. Let people show you who they are. If their flawed humanity doesn't mesh with yours, move on. You may not be able to avoid a jerk, but you might end up with the jerk you want and need.

*No offense to anyone named Willy, Will, Liam, William, Bill or Billy or Mac or Buddy who may, in fact, have brown eyes.

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