Opinion » Lingo Yarns

Auction Season

by

'Tis the auction season. Beginning with the Boise Weekly cover auction, I have now been the auctioneer of at least three fundraising auctions in Boise this season. While I don't do the typical lip-flapping--preferring to take a more art auctioneer approach--I do try to generate excitement. Why I am asked to do these things befuddles me. Perhaps it's because I'm a quidnunc and people feel some of my quidnuncness may rub off on them by inviting me to their gala. Or maybe, it's my ability to exist in a semi-choherent state amid the maelstrom of hands flying and people false-bidding by waving at their friends, all whilst socially lubricated.

As near as I can tell, I've auctioned off close to $20,000 worth of items this season--and that doesn't count the amount of silent-auction dollars that usually accompany the live auction. My uvula needs a rest, but first I'll be taking bids for a good neck massager.