Do you ever feel like Halloween isn't the only time we dress up like someone else? Sometimes I feel like I put on a costume or pretend to be someone else when I'm dating. I'm a confident person with a close group of friends, but sometimes when I go on a couple of dates or am in a full-blown relationship, I feel like I lose myself in the other person. It doesn't matter if it's the first date or first anniversary. I feel like sometimes I have to put on a costume to cover up who I really am.
It starts from the very beginning. Overlooking red flags, laughing at jokes that aren't funny, pretending I like BBQ... When I get on a dating app I waste so much time analyzing the pictures I put on my profile. How's my smile? Do I look fat? I need one that's full body. I should get one that shows I like to travel. Do I look like I'm funny? After I'm done with my own profile, I have to swipe through dozens only to judge them on the same crap I hope they aren't judging me on. It's exhausting.
How are we supposed to meet anyone in this dating environment? If I could truly be myself on an app, what would I say? I like my job and want a career, but sometimes I keep myself up at night wondering if I am ever going to get married. At this point I would have a "geriatric pregnancy" and am afraid I wouldn't be able to give you kids. I am outgoing and am up for almost anything, but sometimes I just want to binge-watch Netflix. I appreciate the outdoors, but I am afraid to hike anything more challenging than Table Rock because I don't want you to hear me panting or see how much my face sweats. I love to travel, but like my girls' trips, so sometimes you wouldn't be invited.
What mask do you wear in relationships? Cheers to showing your true self!
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or follow me on Instagram @anonymouslysingle.