This is the place, Boise, Idaho.
We live here ... we're Boiseans.
The stories you are about to read are true.
KEEP EYES PEELED FOR
KUNA RAPE SUSPECT
A balmy Saturday night. The usual countrified scene out in Kuna. A little drinking. A little dancing. A lot of fun. But not long past the midnight hour, the bucolic 'burb turns violent.
A 30-something Cowgirls reveler told police that a man who hadn't bothered to introduce himself forced her outside the popular watering hole, threw her to the ground, tore her clothing and raped her.
The victim suffered "significant" injuries, which required treatment at a local hospital.
Our suspect is described as a white male, between 5-feet-9 and 5-feet-11, medium build (170-180 lbs.), with spiky, "well-groomed" hair. Last seen wearing a white short-sleeve, button-up dress shirt. He may go by the name "Andy" and could be about 24 years old.
If you were out and about at Cowgirls or the intersection of Maple and Fourth early Sunday, Aug. 9, search your memory. Report any ringing bells to Crime Stoppers at 208-343-COPS.
BEHIND BOISE BARS
The knock on the door came at 12:40 a.m. Thursday, Aug. 20. Not long after, Boise Police took an impersonator into custody.
Not of the Lipsinc-ing variety, either. This time, the cuffs weren't lace, but metal. The crime? Not a fashion felony, but impersonating a police officer.
And a 52-year-old Boise man learned the hard way that there's doing good and then there's crossing the line.
Our story begins not long past high noon about a month ago. Cops field a report of a man with gun in the area of Americana Boulevard and River Street.
When "multiple" BPD officers respond, they find one man lying on the ground, being held at gunpoint by our do-gooder. And another do-gooder holding a gun on him. Plus a fourth man, who was neither on the ground nor in possession of a firearm.
The face-downer: a homeless man accused of stealing the possessions of a fellow shelter resident. He'd chased the suspected thief eastbound on River.
That's when gun-toter No. 1 enters. He sees an apparent criminal fleeing a crime. He draws his weapon. Stops the original suspect. And tries to hold him for police.
Enter gun-toter No. 2. He sees man being held on ground at gunpoint. Decides to join in the fun. Whips out his bullet blaster. Orders our do-gooder to drop his weapon. Which he doesn't. Fortunately, cops arrive before itchy trigger fingers twitch to tragedy.
The problem is, somewhere along the line, do-gooder No. 1 allegedly identified himself as a Boise police officer. He wasn't arrested on the spot. Instead, the felony warrant came down from the county prosecutor.
Moral of the story: When you're holding a crime suspect at gunpoint, resist the temptation to pad your resume. In other situations, doing so might land you a job. In this case, it'll just land you behind bars.
PEDAL PINCHER PROWLS PARADISE
The crime: grand theft bicycle. But not just any two-wheelers. We're talking "high-end" cruisers and mountain bikes. The kind that make mouths water. The wrong mouths.
Boise Police report several of the pricey pedalers were purloined during the past two months. City gumshoes have a person of interest in the crime spree: Jason Mark Fisher. The 24-year-old redhead goes by "Irish." He stands 5-feet-11. Weighs in at 175 lbs. Sports a cross tattoo on his right shoulder.
So if this charmin' bit o' blarney recently sold you a bill of goods, do the right thing. Pick up the phone. Dial 208-570-6270. Boise Police need to hear from you. If you know the whereabouts of Mr. Fisher, Crime Stoppers at 208-343-COPS is the call to make.
Tell BW your true crime stories. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.