"There are so many theaters with an Egyptian theme," he said. "You know those Egyptians—they loved cinema."
Nothing speaks better for a comedian than the jokes themselves, so here are some of the best one-liners from Kinane's opening acts, and his own.
"What do you do when you kill a spider? You check its pockets." -Mike Carrozza
"Every time an Asian lady dates a white guy, a bamboo stick silently falls." -Atsuko Okatsuka
"We can fight neo-Nazis with ciabatta. I just think it's possible." -Atsuko Okatsuka
"I watch the pornos. There are lesbians but they're not real lesbians because they have long nails." -Carly Ballerini
"My mom is a bipolar clown. She met my dad at a mental institution and then went to clown college. That's how supervillains are made." -Carly Ballerini
And finally, from Kinane himself:
"I want to see people who drink Monster Energy drink participate in the sports they sponsor."
On coffee: "Nobody wants to hear about the nuance of beans. You're thinking about Scotch."
"What if waterfalls are just rivers that are trying to kill themselves?"
"I have white privilege because I believe in ghosts. That's the kind of shit you believe in when you have nothing else to worry about."
"I don't think I've sexually harassed someone. I have pet the fuck out of a service dog, though."
"Under that giant fiberglass hot dog was a sign that said, 'Thai Food.' That's a dangerous neighborhood."
"That guy's wearing sunglasses and it's a quarter after 10. When he dies, they're going to bury him in a casket covered in Monster Energy drink stickers."