Despite the fact that some first born loiter around, forgetting their responsibilities, it still common in Congo for the first born to fill his father’s shoes when he turns 18.
It’s a responsibility that no one would ever accept if proposed, but you can’t choose when to be born. The first male child has to set rules and order in the family in the absence of the father. And after he grows, he has to provide and help his younger siblings to achieve their goals.
Being the first born in the Congo means you can never screw up, never misbehave or be anything less than your father was. After you’ve grown, you’ll be involved in every decision that the parents ought to make in the family. You’ll be the one looked at whenever your younger sibling misbehave, and your parent will turn the disciplinary duties to you. Making sure everything around the family functions well and everybody represents the family values.
Now, if you decide to move from the family or start a family of your own, you’ll be looked at for financial assistance whenever it’s needed, get weekly reports of what is happening back in the family and be called in for family meetings whenever necessary.
You’ll have to live your life as an example; you are obliged to do these things by your birth placement.
Your younger siblings and girls in the family are free to live their lives the way they feel. If never want to help the family, no one will blame them.
That’s the reason why people that are in my position as the first male born, far away from home, have a much bigger challenge than anticipated. They have to make sure their families back in Africa still live up to expectations and values. They have to step into their father's shoes and become the providers, and even advisers from miles away, By phone or mail, we make sure the younger ones do not go astray in our absence.
They have the obligation to not fail, give up or relent their pursuit. You have to discipline yourself, doing only that which is useful and necessary for you and above all, considering your family in every decision you are making before you finalize it.