Just like a dream


Over-excitement had made me completely blank minded of details.

Traveling back along memory lane, my first war experience, and my journey from the refugee camp in Zimbabwe to the United States, both happened so fast that I can’t detail what I saw. These two incidents happened so fast with immense emotions that I can only recall them as dreams. People ask me, "How did you feel when you were traveling, coming to the United States? What was on your mind when you were running from gunshots? What did you see along the way to the United States? What was your first impression of Idaho?"

I don’t know! I don’t remember. I was not thinking at all. One was a nightmare while the other was just like a dream.

During the time of war, I was just 12 and clueless, terrified as it was my first time to see dead bodies and thousands of people all running for their lives. I can’t remember seeing anything other than death and thinking of safety, which I finally achieved. Now, in my safety, I remember the whole event as a dream, withut a clue as to how I escaped or how I managed to run hundreds of miles in a matter of hours.

Likewise was my journey to the United States, after nine years in refugee camps around Africa. Moving from one country to another seeking peace and opportunities.

I had a lot of bad incidents in camps and in most countries to the point that I became hopeless. Then suddenly, I was approved for relocation to the U.S. Over-excitement, joy and seeing all my wishes completed when I least expected it was unbelievable. You may want me to remember how I felt but I am sorry. It happened so fast, just like a dream. Apart from the plane, airports and myself, I remember nothing other than my joy.

I wrote this poem three weeks after my arrival in the United States:

Standing shivering,
With a gun facing me,
With no mercy,
Forced to kill or be killed,
With all the people staring at me,
Knowing that they all got a turn on the machete,
Slaughter they own people out of choice,

I looked at the people and my vision dim,
Just like a mid night dream,
Nevertheless, it was not a dream,
Because ten people had already been slaughtered,
Being only fourteen,
I never remembered what happen next,
Because it was all like a dream,
Written by F.B.M Fidel N.M (May 10, 2007)