Dear Sex Guidess,

My boyfriend and have been wanting to play Dom-Sub. We just don't know what is best. We have read some books on it but haven't found what works for us. I want to play Dom but I am really a submissive. He wants me to Dominate him. How do I do this without hurting him or doing the wrong thing?

Entering the "Discipline Section," please.

Here is the sound of a "Pink Dom":

Bad Gurl ... Hands on hips. Strong stance. No submission. Stern silence. No sway. Virtually straight. Think pink corset. Suppressing desire. Frilly hot pants. Shiny black boots.

Bad Boy ... tied to the chair with colorful scarves.

Gently trapped.

Hmmm ... Time for a 10 minute "out-time." Leaving the room ... tap, tap, tap. Quiet. It's really not control just discipline to hold still. He can't leave. He can't go. Taking it slow.

Submitting to patience. Submitting to mystery. What will happen next?

Time for the switch.

Back in the room, holding on to the mental tide. Untying him, feeling his desire rise for participation ... after he smells perfume. He listens, waiting, for your receptive permission.

Approval invitation.

OK, clothes drop, hands scatter and travel. No confusion, no chatter. Wrapping the mind around the creaking of the bed.

Domination/submission is a mind game. These kind of mind games are made to fit the person you are with. Size up boundaries with careful consideration. Discipline is a fine line between control and manipulation. If misused that's when it can hurt.

With Love,

Sex Guidess

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