Mr. Cope’s Cave: Doodling In The Nude

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Just so you know, this is the 100th episode of Mr. Cope’s Cave. Twice a week x 50 weeks = 100.

No huge thing. There are people out there who’ve been blogging daily for years. In fact, there are other Boise Weekly writers—George Prentice and Amy Atkins, to name two—who post numerous items every day, day after day. I doubt if they even count the number of separate items they blog about. They probably don’t care how many times they’ve blogged. They probably think it’s silly that I’m using blog time to tell you how many blogs I’ve done so far. To them, it must be like a Tyson worker stopping work to announce he just plucked his 10,000th chicken.

Really, the only reason I’m doing it is because I have somewhat of a thing for numerical landmarks. And I’m always counting stuff. Even the most insignificant of stuff. Like, when I’m planting corn in the spring, I can’t seem to stop counting the seeds as I stick them in the dirt. And it’s not like I record the final tally in some grand gardening ledger I keep—i.e., On this day, May 7, 2014, I put 73 kernels of Honey Buns Hybrid, with an average two-inch spacing between kernels, into row four of what is proposed to eventually be a seven-row patch of sweet corn.

No, it’s just something that, once I start, I can’t stop. Probably some sort of low-grade OCD, I’m guessing.

None of which explains why I have interrupted my normal blogging patterns to announce that this is Mr. Cope’s Cave No. 100. That has more to do with me being temporarily sick of writing about ISIS or Ebola, Republicans and moronic crap that comes from the mouths of Fox News personalities, stupid gun nuts and why Idahoans ought to vote for Democrats but probably won’t. Jeez, it never ends, know what I mean? If it isn’t one damn thing, it’s another.

I mean… seriously. The news… yuck!

Another reason I’ve brought it up is because I’m mildly surprised I’ve lasted this long. Blogging, I mean. It was sort of an experiment to start with; to see if I had the stamina to produce two of these a week, along with my weekly column, for even as long as a month. I didn’t then, and still don’t, take blogging very seriously as either a reliable source of information or an entertainment venue. Here’s what I said about it in Mr. Cope’s Cave No. 1:

“So what am I doing here, on-line, publishing this material before you in a—God, I hate this word!—blog? (Sounds like something one would do in a public Porta-Potty, doesn’t it?... after wolfing down a chorizo and drinking a quart of Mogen David cooking sherry, perhaps.)

“And the answer is, I’m not sure yet. The immediate explanation is that, after years of trying, my publisher (the tireless Sally Freeman) has finally persuaded me to take up... (gack!)... blogging under the Boise Weekly umbrella. So I’ve agreed to move in and set up a blog shop. But I’m not yet sure what I’m going to peddle there.”

However, at some point between then and now, I’ve actually started to enjoy writing the blog. Even more so than writing the column, that is. I’m looser when I’m writing these than I am when I’m writing those. More relaxed. Less pressured. It feels sometimes like I’m doodling on a napkin that I’ll blow my nose on and throw away once I’m done. And it’s all because I still don’t have the sense that anyone is reading these things.

And frankly, it’s not such a bad feeling, that my only audience is me. It’s like gardening in the nude… (not that I’d know what that’s like)… or something else you may have always wanted to do, but didn’t want anyone there to see you doing it.

Sure, there are one or two struggling wits who feel the need to add their comments to just about everything I write. I have come to think of them as gross, parasitic ticks one is bound to pick up when he goes shuffling through the Internet underbrush. But since the only disease they are spreading is themselves, they aren’t worth bothering about.

Well, I suppose I ought to get back to it… whatever it is I’m doing here. The serious bloggers will be complaining that I’ve spent enough time patting myself on the back for doing in 50 weeks what they do in a month. So next blog, expect more Ebola. More ISIS. More stupid gun nuts and moronic Fox News personalities.

Yuck!