Mr. Cope’s Cave: Dear Diary

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Monday: Just zipped today’s blog over to editor. Done with that. Load off my back. Yipee. Gotta start thinking now what to do for Friday blog. Especially with company coming in tonight. There goes some primo writing time. Phhhht! But it’ll be good to see A_____ again. Knew her back in Ohio. It’s been about 35 years since I’ve seen her. It’ll be interesting to hear what she thinks of Olivia Newton-John movies, Reagan, punk rock, Cheers, personal computers, meth, the first Gulf War, my 24-year-old daughter, Seinfeld, Monica Lewinski, break dancing, the 100 pounds I’ve gained since I saw her last, Iran-Contra, Boy George, the Internet, 9/11, the final episode of M*A*S*H, Cats, the Delorean, that war between Saddam Hussein and the Ayatollah, that genocide in Rawanda, Vanilla Ice, the fall of the Soviet Union, Hurricane Katrina, death metal, Star Trek: TNG, when we invaded Grenada, Princess Di getting pregnant with William, China turning into a super power, The English Patient, everything about Robin Williams from Mork on, Bush, the other Bush, Hillary’s health care plan, that genocide in the Bosnia, Twin Peaks, Huey Lewis and the News, AIDS, Leno getting the Tonight Show instead of Letterman, John Updike’s last 19 novels… phew, I hope there’s enough time. She leaves tomorrow morning and doesn’t even get here until tonight. We went out once. Before my wife and I got together. I think she has grown-up kids. Christ, she might even have grandkids. I suppose I should ask her about that, too.

Tuesday: They ended up not coming last night, A_____ and her husband. They got lost somewhere between Mount Shasta and here. They’re coming tonight instead. There goes some more primo writing time. Phhhht! But it’ll be still be good to see A_____ again. I also want to ask her if she’s seen Joyce, Jim, Pat, Caroline, Les, Ron, Sam, Snooky, John, Paul, Henry, Ginny, Larry, that other Larry, Tom, that guy whose name I can never remember, and Patti. I also want to ask her if she remembers where we went that time I took her out. At least I think it was her. Now that I think about it, it might have been Snooky I took out. One thing for sure, I better come up with something for Friday’s blog. Running out of time here and it’ll only get worse with company coming. Also have to mow the damn lawn before they get here.

Wednesday: They finally came last night, A______ and her husband. Nice guy. First thing I did was ask her if she’s seen Joyce, Jim, Pat, Caroline, Les, Ron, Sam, Snooky, John, Paul, Henry, Ginny, that guy whose name I can never remember, and Patti. Only I forgot to ask her if she’d seen Larry and the other Larry. Just as well. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure she ever knew Larry and Larry. I was hoping to take her and her husband over to Boise just to drive around and look at things. Maybe up to Lucky Peak. Maybe even up to Idaho City. That’s where I always take anybody from back east who’ve never seen anything like Idaho City before. She’s been living in Georgia for the past 35 years, so I was pretty sure she’d never seen anything like Idaho City before. But they got here later than we expected, then we started talking. Before we knew it, it was dark. No point in taking anybody to see things in the dark. One good thing about it. They couldn’t see the damn lawn either. Which never got mowed.

Thursday: Forgot to mention yesterday that A_____ and her husband left. Yesterday. Early. They were going to Portland to catch a plane back to Georgia. On their way from Mount Shasta to Portland, they decided to swing over here and see us. Big swing. That’s when they got lost. I guess I’d forgotten A_____ is sort of impulsive. And I don’t think I ever knew 35 years ago she couldn’t tell north from south. Or maybe I knew but forgot. In 35 years, you can forget a lot. We went to breakfast before they left and I told them how to get from Meridian to the freeway. I think I gave pretty good directions, but still, I hope they didn’t get lost. Now I am free to get to work on Friday’s blog. Soon as I mow the damn lawn. Be right back.

Friday: Forgot to mention yesterday that it was 9/11. That’s what I should have written about for today’s blog. 9/11. Letting 9/11 pass without saying something about 9/11 is like letting Dec. 7 pass without saying something about Pearl Harbor, or Nov. 22 pass without saying something about JFK. But I don’t know what to say. I think everything’s already been said. I hate writing stuff everybody already knows, or expressing feelings about something everybody has the same feelings about. It’s like writing, “Know what I’m talking about?” knowing the answer is, “Of course we do. Who doesn’t?” So I think I’ll skip 9/11 this year. Maybe two years from now I’ll say something. You know, when it’s been 15 years. Then again when it’s been 20 years. That’s always the best time to write something about things like Pearl Harbor and 9/11. On anniversaries that end with a “0” or “5.” The 25-year anniversary will be a big one, you can count on that. But I’ll be pushing my luck to get that far. And you know something else? There oughta be a word for things like 9/11 and Pearl Harbor other than “anniversary.” Either that, or they should come up with a new word for the day you got married. When someone says “We got a big anniversary coming up,” you don’t know whether to say “Congratulations!” or “Oh, wasn’t that just terrible?” One good thing about the 9/11 anniversary yesterday. I finally got the lawn mowed. Oh, never did come up with something to write about though, so have decided to call these last few diary entries my Friday blog. Will zip it over to my editor soon as I’m finished. Load off my back. Yipee. Wonder if A_____ and her husband ever found Portland.