Mr. Cope’s Cave: Yet More Evidence the National Rifle Association is an Abomination


I’m starting a new open-ended series today. I played around with several different wordings for the title, e.g.: “The Black Soul of the NRA,” “Evil=NRA!” and “How Does the NRA Live With Itself?” But I finally settled on “Yet More Evidence the National Rifle Association is an Abomination.”

Some of you might wonder how this series is different from the one I started months ago, “More Stupid Things That Gun Nuts Do.” It’s pretty simple. “More Stupid Things… “ is intended to catalogue the general idiocy of those big-mouthed, little people whose lives revolve around that one thing, firearms, and the absurd arguments they make to justify their deviancy and make themselves sound like substantial human beings. “Yet More Evidence… ” will explore the soulless, arms-cartel machine that puts the words into those idiots’ mouths and fills their heads with the obsessive delusions that make them so deficient as human beings.

See the difference?

The specific item that brought about this series may be old news to you, but it’s new to me as of Saturday. I stumbled across an Internet story about how a useless turd named Tony Makris, an NRA spokesman and host of a hunting show (Under Wild Skies on NBC Sports), was filmed shooting an elephant in the face from 20 feet away. It took him three shots to kill the creature, and before it finally went down, the great white hunter joked that the beast was “getting a bit cheeky there”—presumably because it had the audacity to not fall dead after the first shot.

The killing was legal in that some African countries offer controlled hunts for this and other animals, whether or not their numbers are diminishing to the point of alarm. But as decent people know, “legal” and “moral” are often two entirely different things.

As it happens, Sunday morning I watched a CBS report on the woes of the African elephant, an entity whose high intelligence and commitment to each other would probably rank it well above the average NRA executive, were those two animals ever participants in a comparative study of general spirituality, worthiness and who we would miss the most were they to both disappear from the planet. Even after years of concerned people trying to stop the slaughter, elephants are still being poached at a rate of 25,000 a year. Their number is now a fraction of what it was even 30 years ago. The poachers use automatic weapons to kill entire herds in a night, then hack out the tusks, leaving the rest to rot.

The Chinese market for ivory seems insatiable, and there are always Africans destitute enough, and desperate enough, to risk whatever might befall them should they get caught. But most of them don’t get caught, anyway. And one of the grandest creatures to ever walk this Earth is rapidly fading away.

Yet evidently, the NRA continues to regard every living thing—including elephants—as just another excuse to go buy a gun and kill whatever it’s legal to kill. They sponsor that “sports” program, they pay that useless turd to host it, and they allowed it to be aired. Of course, this isn’t the only evil the NRA promotes—perhaps not even the worst, compared to the slaughter of Americans that goes on every day with NRA complicity—but you would think there would come a point when that utter lack of decency, that utter lack of morality, that utter lack of spirituality, would be so glaringly evident that even the gun nuts who support them would get it.

Or am I expecting too much of indecent, immoral and spiritually-empty idiots?