Mr. Cope's Cave: Ooping Crane


Look, Don’t expect me to jump all over poor Ron Crane just because he lost a few million bucks of my money. And your money. Let’s say our  money. It’s not like we were ever going to see that money, anyway.

I mean, it would be one thing if Idaho was the kind of state that fixes its roads and invests in new infrastructure and pays its teachers what they’re worth and gets poor people the medical care they need and sets up pre-K instruction for little kids so they’d have a fighting chance in school and makes an effort to expand and improve the state park system. That way, see, we could see our money. Or at least, what good it’s doing us.

But face it, Idaho isn’t that kind of state. Idaho’s the kind of state where the leaders figure the less they do for people, the better the leaders they are.

Idaho’s the kind of state where sometimes it seems we actually elect 'em based on how little they do for us.

Idaho’s the kind of state where it doesn’t really matter how qualified a state officer is, or how well trained he is, or whether he has any business whatsoever doing the job we elect him to do.

Why hell, Idaho’s the kind of state where any ol’ dairy farmer or, uh... let’s say, holder of a mail-order degree in weights and measures... can run for Superintendent of Public Instruction or Secretary of State or the Office of Whatever, and as long as he—or the occasional she—is in solid with the right political party, they’ll probably win.

So what if Ron Crane’s only qualification to be the State Treasurer is his 16 years as a legislator from Canyon County—the homeland of roughly half the goofiness in Idaho’s history.

So what if his education is an associate degree in a field his official biography neglects to name, from a school his official biography also neglects to name.

So what if his only other degree is an honorary doctorate from some Christian college in Ohio, as noted dutifully in his official biography, which then neglects to inform us as to how the hell an honorary degree qualifies anyone for anything.

So so what if he flushed $27 million down a crapper called “securities lending,” something Crane himself admits he isn’t a... what you would call... a genius at.

Besides, this guy is responsible for managing almost $3 billion in investments for the state. So maybe we should just be grateful he didn’t blow it all. Huh? Did you ever think about that?

So no, don’t expect me to jump all over poor Ron Crane just because he lost a few million bucks. Really, how can you blame a guy whom you’ve repeatedly elected to an office he has never once demonstrated he was qualified to fill in in the first place?

Besides, if he was going to lose his job over something like incompetence or blowing our money out his ass, maybe it should have been back when he was hiring limousines to run himself and his pals around New York City while there on state business. Or how about the time he got caught filling his own gas tank on a state credit card?

Really, in some states, they call that kind of thing “corruption.” Here in Idaho, it’s just another thing his official biography neglects to mention.