Let's lay it on the line here: As a general rule, Christmas music blows. The old stuff is dull and smarmy and the new stuff usually involves a publicist trying to grow a band's brand. Watch this steampunk-themed video of Justin Bieber singing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" if you need convincing.
Still not convinced? Then try this one of Mr. Biebs performing "Little Drummer Boy" with Busta Rhymes, or this one of Jeff Foxworthy singing "Redneck 12 Days of Christmas."
But it's not all bad. There actually is a pony buried somewhere in the dung heap. And lucky for you, BW was willing to dig through the shit to get to it. Instead of suffering through "Jingle Bell Rock" for the billionth time, enjoy some of our "alternative" holiday songs—12 of them to be precise. Why 12? This is why.
Starting things off is Weird Al's classic: "Christmas at Ground Zero." Why? Because Christmas is a time for the nuclear family. And this is a song about what happens when it actually goes nuclear.