Need Something To Do Thursday?


A movement has recently arisen among the educated and business elite encouraging young people not to go to college. Their central argument is not that education is bad, just that the costs of college are now so absurd that it does more to financially handicap a student than it does to boost employment prospects in the current market. They feel smart people will do well anyhow, and it's better to get them working early, rather than hanging a debt albatross around their necks that will ultimately hold them back.

That doesn't mean education doesn't make one more attractive as an employee, though. Most economists will tell you, the most attractive kind of education to employers is one that helps fill an unusual and specific niche. If for example, instead of just being able to type or do data-entry, you had the ability to predict the future, then you'd be a shoe-in.

So today, why not take a class on exactly that?

Swing by Timberline High School at 6:30 p.m. and you can take a class on improving your clairvoyance taught by local counselor Susan Ozimkiewicz for the low, low price of $15.50.

Once you've taken that class, you'll be that much more able to work in the stock market, guess people's weight at carnivals and be that person the FBI always consults in movies to find serial killers.

Attendees are requested to pre-register at—but seeing as how it's a class of clairvoyance, maybe they'll predict you're coming.