I’m just as sick of the undead as the next lady. I don’t give a shit who’s on Team Edward or Team Jacob. Or what’s going to happen on the season finale of True Blood. Nor would I pick up a copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
But Robin Hilton’s post on the All Songs Considered blog yesterday, “The Zombie Vampire Band Invasion,” brings up an extremely valid question. If a band had to be classified as vampires or zombies, which would they be?
Here are a few of Hilton’s classifications: Iggy Pop, zombie; David Bowie, vampire; Hanson, vampires; The Beach Boys, zombies; Andrew Bird, vampire; Courtney Love, zombie.
Now this can be interpreted in a number of ways. Vampire bands might be ones that feed on the creativity of the young and vibrant to remain relevant. (Hi, Madonna.) Or they could be the more debonair, thoughtful lads struggling to balance their thirst for blood with human compassion. (Um, The Walkmen?)
Zombie bands, on the other hand might be ones that are just going through the motions, phoning it in undead-style. (Sorry, Bob Dylan.) Or they could be those raw, guttural rockers on the hunt for your brains. (Tom Waits?)
Though most folks on NPR’s Facebook post thought this debate was trifling (killjoys), one commenter stole my still-beating heart:
“Zombies, vampires, whatever, but Iggy Pop is a streetwalking Cheetah with a heart full of Napalm (which I take to mean a wereleopard).”