A ho in one


OK, since everyone else is doing it I think I must break my silence too. I'm one of Tiger Woods' mistresses. I couldn't let all those other hos nab the spotlight. I need my fame too. I deserve it. I worked hard for that title. Besides, he told me I was the only one. What happened to loyalty?

I have the text messages to prove it. I'm not proud of our tryst, after all, he is a married man, but maybe not for long. We met in an airport bar, one of many on the PGA circuit. He bought me a drink, a Rob Roy if memory serves. We talked about drivers, and balls, and his wife's explosive temper. Then he put his hand on my knee. The rest is history.

I am now entertaining offers from InTouch, Star and the National Enquirer for my story and pictures. You'll have to see who wins the bidding war. It should be out in a week. Besides, I feel like now is the time to cash in on this travesty.