Some of Obama's and Romney's Best Jokes at Thursday's Al Smith Dinner


A good many voters already think the 2012 race for the White House is pretty hilarious. But President Barack Obama and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney pulled out their "A" material last night with a few polite jabs and some self-deprecation at the Al Smith Dinner in New York City, which raises money for Catholic charities and always attracts both Democratic and Republican candidates.

Here's a sample:

Barack Obama:

“Everyone please take your seats, or else Clint Eastwood will yell at them.”

“In less than three weeks, voters in states like Ohio, Virgina and Florida will decide this incredibly important election. Which begs the question, what are we doing here?”

“I particularly want to apologize to Chris Matthews. Four years ago, I gave him a thrill up his leg. This time around, I gave him a stroke.”

“Early today, I went shopping at some stores in midtown. I understand Gov. Romney went shopping for some stores in midtown.”

“Of course, the economy is on everybody’s minds. The unemployment rate is at its lowest level since I took office. I don’t have a joke here. I just thought it’d be useful to remind everybody that the unemployment rate is at the lowest it’s been since I took office.”

Mitt Romney:

“I was actually hoping the president would bring Joe Biden along this evening, ‘cause he’ll laugh at anything.”

“As President Obama surveys the Waldorf banquet room, with everyone in white tie and finery, you have to wonder what he’s thinking: so little time, so much to redistribute.”

“He knows how to seize a moment, this president. And already he has a compelling new campaign slogan: You’re better off now than you were four weeks ago.”

“Usually when I get invited to gatherings like this, it’s just to be the designated driver.”

“By the way, in the spirit of Sesame Street, the president’s remarks tonight are brought to you by the letter O and the number 16 trillion.”